


Opening the Flirt-Gates

by Nokomis



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Crack, Hostage Situations, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, human villains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:24:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1264645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nokomis/pseuds/Nokomis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek and Stiles get caught up in a bank robbery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Opening the Flirt-Gates

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Memekon's prompt on tumblr, asking for "A STEREK FIC WITH A HUMAN HOSTAGE SITUATION. Just, for some reason Derek and Stiles wind up at a bank or something, and there's a robbery attempt that ends up in a hostage situation and their captors are human and how do they deal with that?" Originally posted [here](http://nokomiss.tumblr.com/post/78296283590/hiiii-you-know-what-i-really-really-want-a-sterek)

"This has to be super embarrassing for you, right?" Stiles whispers, blatantly flouting the 'Nobody says a word!" decree that the guy the yellow ski mask had laid down.

"Shut. Up," Derek hisses, barely moving his mouth, like he's forgotten that human criminals don't actually have superhearing. The trio of bank robbers that are currently keeping them hostage have their backs turned and are too busy yelling at the poor tellers to pay attention a few whispers.

"No, but really," Stiles whispers back, slightly louder just to make Derek's scowl deepen. "Big bad werewolf cowering because of a few humans. Peter is never going to stop laughing about this."

"I'm not going to risk collateral damage," Derek says grumpily, "Not til I know I have a clear shot at all three. And you're absolutely not going to tell Peter."

"How're you going to stop me?" Stiles grins. He should probably be terrified like the other dozen hostages laying on their bellies across the bank's lobby, but instead he's too caught up in how hilarious it is to see Derek laying there with his hands crossed behind his neck like everyone else. Granted, Stiles is in the same position, but he's not Derek Punching-Is-A-Solution-To-Everything Hale.

"I'll stop you." Derek narrows his eyes at him. "With my--"

"Teeth? Dude, you just want to get your mouth on me," Stiles says while his mouth-to-brain filter is still buffering. He freezes, certain that Derek is going to forget about the angry men with semiautomatics and is going to murder him horribly for flirting, jesus, _what was Stiles thinking_. He closes his eyes for a long moment, hoping that the floor will oblige him and swallow him whole.

Spoiler: it doesn’t.

Maybe he's a little more terrified than he realized, actually. Adrenaline does weird things to him. He opens his eyes slowly to take in Derek’s reaction.

Derek's face is doing its stoic thing only... 

Stiles squints a little.

It's a little hard to tell, what with the lumberjack beard, but after a bit of careful scrutiny, Stiles determines that Derek Hale is totally blushing.

Derek's cheeks are going adorably red. Because Stiles flirted with him. 

Stiles unfreezes long enough for a honking sound of disbelief to come out of his traitorous mouth.

"I'm going to go deal with these bank robbers," Derek says, even though two minutes ago he'd deemed it too dangerous for the tellers. His voice is deceptively calm. "Then--"

"We never speak of this again?" Stiles interrupts hopefully.

" _Then_ ," Derek continues, "we're going to have a discussion about _your_ mouth." He climbs to his feet without looking over at Stiles, his attention clearly honed in on the armed criminals.

One of them warns Derek not to be a hero, and Stiles feels like he should be doing something more than laying uselessly on the floor while Derek saves everyone's butts. Probably they should have devised a plan of some sort, instead of Stiles awkwardly choosing now as the time to open up the flirt-gates.

Derek strides up and punches the first bank robber in the face without any pause, and Stiles respects that sort of direct approach, really he does, but it just lacks so much finesse. The robber drops like a ton of bricks, and Stiles sees his window for helping open up. As Derek turns to face off with the remaining two bank robbers, Stiles scrambles to his feet and skids over to the KO-ed guy, grabbing his gun and leveling it at the robbers.

They'd been too distracted by Derek's blatant disregard for his own safety to notice Stiles' gambit; one of them starts visibly when they realize that the tides have turned. Stiles feels totally badass; those armed criminals are practically quaking in their boots.

"Weapons on the ground, now," Derek growls. Stiles darts his eyes to him but Derek's still completely human, just supremely pissed.

"Yippee ki-yay, motherfuckers," Stiles adds helpfully.

The one on the left nervously darts his eyes to his fallen comrade before carefully putting his weapon down and putting his hands up. When the one on the right doesn't seem all that swayed by the combined might of Derek and Stiles, Derek flashes his eyes at him, just enough to scare him.

It works.

By the time they can hear the sirens, they've tied up all three robbers, dropped the weapons on the opposite side of the lobby, and Derek has lead Stiles out of the bank and down a side alley, ducking into the first unlocked door to hide. They end up in the back room of a furniture store, surrounded by pallets and plastic-covered couches and half-assembled pieces.

"Did we just Batman and Robin our way out of there?" Stiles asks. "Because we should totally start carrying around batarangs and make this a thing. That was awesome."

Derek glares, but it's a friendly version. At least, Stiles thinks it's a friendly glare. Reading Derek’s glares is an art form. "You shouldn't have risked yourself."

He crosses his arms over his chest, and Stiles suddenly remembers that he'd said the unfortunate thing about mouths and also that werewolves can scent out bioreceptors for things like _overwhelming, mindless lust_.

"You're welcome for the backup," Stiles replies. "So um, I may have, in the heat of the moment, said something..."

He's decided on 'inappropriate' as the most neutral adjective when Derek kisses him.

Actually full-on kisses him, with Derek's mouth on Stiles' mouth, all hot and soft and insistent. 

Stiles is so flummoxed that he forgets to do anything with his own mouth, and then when Derek starts to pull back, Stiles is forced to flail his limbs, put his hand on the back of Derek's neck and tug him back into the kiss, which Stiles actively participates in this time.

It might be the adrenaline still pumping through his system that's making his heart race and the kiss to feel almost dizzyingly intense, like the world could be ending around them and all that would matter was Derek's mouth, but Stiles doubts it.


End file.
